Not a stranger

 Last night I was laying in bed in the middle of the night thinking about a million different things. This little baby inside of me must have been doing the same thing. She was tossing and turning...possibly doing some Olympic style hard core gymnastics. I kept rubbing my belly and it almost felt like she would push back to say hello. 

Pregnancy is so incredible. For nine months this precious little life gets to know you...to trust you. You carry them around...not fully knowing who they are, or who they will become. 

Then child birth. You literally give your all. You fight and push and scream and feel the most pain you ever have in your entire life and for a split second you literally don’t know if you will make it through. And then the next second you are staring into the face of—not a stranger—but someone you already know, you see their face and it feels like they have always been there. After a moment of excruciating pain...comes a moment of pure joy. A reunion of souls who knew each other all along. 

It is kind of amazing to be carrying this baby to the week that we celebrate the Saviors birth (I am due December 26th). A new sense of how Mary was feeling as she prepared to make a long trek. She was not comfortable I can tell you that. She was most likely swollen and tired. Her hips were probably sore, maybe she was having contractions all day as she rode on the back of an unstable donkey. I am guessing her hormones were all over the place...and maybe even had a few moments where she questioned the purpose of such a plan. 

She knew she was carrying a King...and yet was taken to the lowliest of scenes to fight to bring him into this world. (And we think it is hard to have babies during covid)

What an amazing gift that when we carry these precious souls we get to sacrifice—in love—to give them life. 

Some do it—in love—for another couple who couldn’t. Other mothers fight to give life to a baby to place in another families arms. I have met many who have had to fight to bring a baby into the world they knew wouldn’t or hadn’t made it. Each story a brave tribute of love. 

I am so thankful for these babies of mine. For the light each one has brought me, and the joy I find in watching them become who they were made to be. I am thankful for the support they have given me through the highs and the lows and for their example of faith and love through it all. 

Mothers of all forms...I salute you. This parenting thing is hard, amazing, chaotic, rewarding, exhausting, comical, serious, fun, and a lot of work all at the same time. 

I know with all my heart someday when we get to heaven...not only will we get to see those babies we lost (I have had three miscarriages)...but we will get to see the impact we had on the babies we blessed with our bravery...all forms of bravery and love...that have made us moms. 

Kennady

 

To my little girl coming so soon. I am honored to be your mom. I can’t wait to watch you be adored by a houseful of people who can’t wait to meet you. The countdown begins! 

And and update in Bostyn! She has had a great week and we have seen some progress! Thank you all for your prayers and support. I can see her turning a corner and it has been beautiful to watch her remember who she was all along!