Weekend Inspiration

In our church, every six months we get the opportunity to hear amazing speakers present truths. This year I decided to challenge myself to take notes on each one and write down the things that stood out to me. If you are in need of some new truths to think about, here are my notes from the last two days. No matter what your faith or religion, I know these talks can help you on your journey to healing from trauma and overcoming fears.  It was incredible to hear each person, for two days, testify of Christ, the role He can and does play in our lives, and the purpose of His life and mission and what it can teach us about our own. 

To listen or read their full presentations click here: Conference April 2017

General Conference

Henry B. Eyring

Heavenly Father’s plan. Christ would offer himself as a sacrifice to rescue us from sin and death. Our task is to accept the Saviors sacrifice—and rejoice in it. We were not sent here in the dark. We were sent with the light of Christ—we can sense in our hearts what is right and wrong.

Some take opposition as evidence that there is no God, or that he determines in advance who will make it through. But we know that Heavenly Father wants us all to make it—God loves us all.

Learning about your past—the history of your ancestors—can teach you a lot about yourself. Doing work for your ancestors can help you feel closer to your families and closer to Jesus Christ.

Joseph Brough

Obedience to our parents. Heavenly Father will guide us, lead us, and walk beside us. He knows our needs, and has developed a personal care package for each one of us. It includes His Son, families, the Holy Ghost, and leaders. All to help us along the way. When we do what God commands us to do, we will be safe and full of peace.

Praying for answers doesn’t always happen right away. Sometimes it comes as a prompting to do it another way. Sometimes he uses another person to assist him. He will stretch forth His hand in His own time and in His own way.

Weatherford Clayton

We are all brothers and sisters and children of our Heavenly Father. We must repent. Sin requires us to suffer. Because Christ atoned for our sins, He never leaves us alone. When someone dies, they are not gone . . . but have returned home. Moments when time stand still and seems unfair, we can find comfort in knowing Christ is there.

“Live for the moments when time stands still”

Daryl G. Renland

The Savior’s compassion in our struggles draws us near Him. Mercy and empathy help us change. How does Jesus react when faced with our sins? The Savior loves all of us . . . even all of us sinners. Compassion and mercy is what the Savior uses to help us change. The Savior will not save us in our sins  . . . but from our sins. He cannot save us in our sins. We must first abide the conditions of repentance.

Bullying can happen on all levels—including not allowing others to believe contrary to what we do. Everyone has the right to express their opinions in the public square. How sad would it be if we were to treat others as we have been treated?

Ulisses Soares

How do we use the atonement—grace—so we do not waver in our day? Mortal life is a period of testing to prove that we can do all things that the Lord commands us. Knowing and trusting that God will provide for our needs. Jesus lived a sinless life, and then suffered terrible pain beyond any description—but He stands ready to help us with every burden. His mission is to help us find peace on earth.

He that keeps the commandments is he that loveth me. Faith is living with divine purpose and eternal perspective. We need to be willing to do anything that Christ and the Father ask of us.

In moments of trial, the adversity is always on the lookout. He tries to convince us that it is useless to keep the commandments. Satan is your enemy and fights against light continually. If we are steadfast and not wavering in our faith, we will have the capacity to overcome all obstacles in our way. Place your trust in God and the teachings of the prophets.

Mark A. Bragg

Even in the most difficult and darkest of times, there is light and goodness around us. That which is of God is light. The light grows brighter and brighter until the perfect day. Receiving light is what we were created to do. Seeking the light is in our spiritual DNA.

There is light available to us.

1. Light of the church.

Seeking after it will quality us for even more light. The light of the church will shine brighter and brighter.

2. Light of the gospel.

Families can resolve misunderstandings and challenges. Can be healed through forgiveness and repentance.

3. Light of Christ.

The light of the world brings light to the world. Helps us see others through the Saviors eyes. Help us see how we all fit in to that great loving plan.

Russell M. Nelson

It was foretold that the advisory would stir up anger in the hearts of men. And lead them astray. Heavenly Father sent His Son so we would have access to the power of the grace. The power of our Lord and Master Jesus Christ.

We learn about His ministry and mission, the more we know the more we can see that He has the power we need in our lives. We can call upon the Atonement for our healing—so we may live with hope in this life. When we use His grace, our doubts and fears flee. Faith motivates us to action.

We increase the Saviors power in our life when we keep our covenants with precision. Reach up with diligent focused effort. Spiritual stretching.  When we draw His power into our lives, both He and we will rejoice.

Saturday afternoon

Robert D. Hales

Where is your intention? When we strengthen our attributes like Christ… the other qualities are strengthened and we help those around us. Power in Him. What am I supposed to learn from this experience? Endure with patience. Fathers who are patient teach children to be patient. Greatest of these is charity. Cannot be part time disciples. Stand strong in these last days.

Jeffery R. Holland

The songs we all must sing.

Some days are difficult. Days that show us a lack in us, others, and life. Whatever reasons they rob us of the songs we sing. Draw strength from the splendor of the music around us. Sometimes those who can’t “sing” for a time have to get close to someone who has the notes. Jesus has the perfect pitch. Stereotypes driven by a consumerist culture . . . we lose our purpose. We must sing in our own voice. Not someone else’s. Don’t abandon your role in the chorus.

It is hard to be upbeat when we see so many suffer. Guns and fighting are not the way to deal with human conflict. The more excellent way will always be the gospel of grace and Christ. 

We live in a world where too many songs we cannot or will not sing, but we have to stay in the choir and savor the most precious song of redeeming love.

Christ has room for all of us. Room for those who once questioned their faith—and those who still do.

Gary B. Sabin

“If I didn’t roll out my sleeping bag I wouldn’t have to roll it back up again”

Spiritually cold. Give head to the words of eternal life. Out of sync with God’s will . . . out of sink with happiness. No peace to the wicked.

Punching bag man kept coming back up. “He is standing up on the inside” How can we stand up on the inside? If walking isn’t working . . . maybe we need to run. Let go of the world so we can hang on to eternity. Follow the creator… not the crowd.

Don’t fear. Just live right. It will work out in the end.

Valeri V. Cordon

Language loss. Eternal language. Never lost if we preserve it.

1. Be diligent at home

Parents need to spend time teaching their children. Parent’s who make a conscious effort will succeed. Daily family prayer and scripture study. Words mean nothing, unless our actions are the same. The son can do nothing but what he sees the father do.

Traditions. As families we need to avoid traditions that keep us from keeping the Sabbath day holy.  Make traditions that use the scriptures. Help them find their identity their purpose and their relationship with the Savior. Imperfect people trying to learn a perfect language.

Neil L. Anderson

Receive the Savior. Put your trust in Him. I don’t want your time or your money or work… I want you. Christ wants us. Asking for forgiveness and pledging to remember Him. Church opens the door to a week full of time to apply the lessons we have learned. Turning ourselves outward. Happiness of spouse is above our own pleasure.

The world, “Look at me, look at all that is mine. Look at me”

Overcoming the world will always mean we have some beliefs that are ridiculed. If it hates you. You know it hated Christ first.

Overcoming the world is becoming less concerned with our online connections and more concerned with our connection to God. I knew that God knew that I knew I have been blessed. Overcoming the world doesn’t mean we have a protected life.

M. Russell Ballard

Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring accomplishment to life. Goal is a destination. Plan is the route in which you get there.

Goal setting is where you want to go. But first you have to find out which of them really matter. Heavenly Father’s plan gives us a way to become more like Him. Focus on the eternal path. Goals and plans for our careers, education and golf. Marriages, families church counsels and callings. But our greatest and most over riding goal should fit into Heavenly Father’s plan. Experts say the simpler and straightforward a goal is—the more power it will have.

Return and receive. Return to his presence. Receive his blessings. Rely on His merits. Satan tried to modify our Fathers plan. Satan can neither return nor receive. He uses every possible enticement and temptation to bring us down and make us miserable. He uses deceit and small voices. He uses the world to bring darkness into our life so we get distracted from our goals of eternity. They seek to destroy our faith and divert us from the path.

How am I doing?  Who knows you better than you know yourself? Find time to review your life goals and plans. Make sure they align with God’s plan. Prayerfully think about what adjustments are needed to help you keep your eye single to the glory of God.

Christ is the center of our plans.

Come unto me all ye who are heavy laden. I will give ye rest.

Sunday morning session

Thomas S. Monson

How to apply his teaching in our lives. Sin and evil in the world today. We will be protected by a testimony of Jesus Christ. Read the book of Mormon with a sincere desire to know its truth. Get your testimony now, to be prepared for difficult times. The testimonies of others will only carry you so far. We will hear the voice of the spirit. 

Joy D. Jones

Resilient children. Understand their identify and feel God’s love. Children who struggle to stand stead fast. Need reinforcement and support. Rage a war against sin. Mighty conflict. We are at war. Fatal casualties. The war continues and touches all of us. Opposing forces causes a need in us to learn new strategies. The Lord has asked parents to teach children faith, repentance, baptism, gift of the holy ghost, pray, walk uprightly.

Universal guidelines to live by. Understand our—and their—divine purpose. Help them know they are sons and daughters of God. Understand repentance and resisitance to sin. Becoming sin resistance comes from constantly resisting sin. True at all times—keep the commandments of God. WE go to war carrying Christlike qualities. Courage is needed every single day. Our children put on personal armor as they learn daily discipleship. Start early and be steady. Begin at early ages. Articles of faith. Primary songs, hymns and our own personal  testimonies.

Integrity. Make and keep sacred covenants. Heart and soul of our purpose of mortality. Satan knows this… so he obscures the concept of covenant making. How do we prepare our children to make and keep sacred covenants….by helping them be honest and behave appropriately. Help them keep promises. Keep promises longer and longer. “I kept my promise because I said I would”. Consistent practice of keeping promises prepares children to keep covenants as adults.

WE help children taste success in small bites. Rewards come by keeping promises. Hold your little ones close, show them what it looks like to live promises and covenants. They are watching you. Example is the best teacher.

Christ atoned for the sins of the world…because he said he would.

Yoon Hwan Choi

Come unto Christ. Linking ancestors. All of us are in the middle of an eternal family. Our role can change it in negative or positive ways. How can you be sure you will be a strong link in your eternal family?

The gospel is perfect…but members are not yet. Do not lose your faith, because of the people around you. Build your relationship with Jesus Christ. Look unto Him in every thought. Doubt not, fear not.

Go out in the rain, look up to heaven. Open your mouth, drink it. Look up when you face challenges.

Children are blessed through parents faithful work and diligence. We see inconvenience, loss, and loneliness. It is harder to see blessings and light. Look up. Look to Christ. If you choose to leave the gospel of Christ, what will you do? What will you lose?

It is never too late to look up. Repent, make right your wrongs. Change… and look up. He hasn’t forgotten you.

Ronald A. Rasband

The spirit of the Lord teaches truths. Father. Son. Holy Ghost.

Father knew we would face challenges, disappoinemtns, turmoil. He provided the Holy spirit—that binds us to the Lord. He promised He would bind us to Him. Peace in heartache, courage in fear. We may always have His spirit to be with us.

1. Live worthy of the spirit.

Spirit does not dwell in unholy temple. He will dwell in your heart.

2. Listen to the spirit

Their hearts were open, they did understand in their hearts. Voice is still and small. The Lord is not in the wind, the fire, the boom. He comes after, in the still small voice.

3. Do the work of the Lord

Be about your fathers business

4. Act on the first prompting.

Be lead by the spirit. Go and do. You will get it right nine times out of ten. Do not expect fire works and celebrations because you listened. Family and friends in particular need you to follow those promtings. To teach, to help, to comfort, to support, and to rescue. First responder.

Let the Lord know in our morning prayers that we are ready. He will call on us time and time again. We will become spiritual first responders. Pay attention to the promptings that come to you, you will grow and receive more direction. It will lead you to do good. He leads us by the Holy Ghost. Act upon the first promptings, they come from God.

L. Whitney Clayton

With God nothing is impossible. Do what God asked. Mary committed before she knew why. She accepted God’s word unconditionally and in advance. At first she felt inadequate…but did His will.

When we decide to align our mission with God’s will we pray with real intent and follow what He asks of us. Simple habbits of belief transform into great faith. Rooted in Christ, brings steadfastness to our souls.

Sacrifices…I know not, save the Lord commanded me. Obeying the Lord without knowing why. God will always bless us for our steadfast obedience, but he rarely shows us the whole picture in advance. Faith, hope and trusting in the Lord comes in. No easy answers or quick fixes in heaven. Perfect love and perfect timing in the Lord. Stay true to daily practices of faith. We choose who we will serve every day. The Lord promises to direct our paths, but for Him to do that we have to walk. When we trust and follow him. He knows the way, because He is the way.

Dallin H. Oaks

First vision Joseph Smith saw two beings. God the Father and His Son—two different beings. Nature of God, and our relationship to Him is the key to this life. Life eternal, that we might know Him.

It will be a while after you pass through the veil before you know all of the knowledge of exaltation. Three members of the Godhead are separate and distinct beings. Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit… or else it could not dwell in us. Our relationship to the Godhead comes from the plan of salvation. It is all answered there.

Spiritual death is being cut off from the presence of God. Knowing the purpose of God’s great plan, we consider the roles of the 3 in the Godhead in that plan. Love of God the Father, the mission of Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost.

God. Father’s supreme position, our relationship to Him, and His role in the creation. God and Father of Christ, as well as all of us. The first fundamental truth from Christ: above and overall there is God of heaven and earth. We learn of the Father as we learn from Christ. His mission was to reveal to mortals what God is like and reveal the true nature of our Father in Heaven. Jesus was the express image of the Father. We are His children and He loves us. All He does is for our eternal benefit. His plan achieves His purposes.

Christ. First born of all the children of God. Create worlds without number. Save the children of God of death by his resurrection. Jesus’s mission was to bring to pass the imortaily and eternal life of all of Father’s children.

Holy Ghost. Teaches all things. Guides us. Protects us. Comforts us. Blesses us.

Our relationship to the Godhead gives us the ultimate road map and assurance through our journey through mortality. We know who makes it possible.

Essential to the plan of salvation is our Savior Jesus Christ. Don’t just believe in Him and His mission. We have to work and live them. Receive His saving ordinances. Only by believing and living truth can we be eternally saved.

Deiter F. Ucthdorf

Falling for manipulation. Or using manipulation. Fear to motivate others, including ourselves.

Fear. Determining our actions and behavior. But it only has the power to be temporary. Never transform us into people who want to do what it is right. Angry, resentful. Leads to mistrust. Defiance, even rebellion. Condemn in others but they cannot see it in themselves. They become the exception of the rules, but they condemn others who do the same.  They become harsh, thinking it is for the good of others—but they do not realize that their anger will not do anything but create more fear in others.

Father’s love for us, His children, surpasses anything we comprehend, but that does not mean He does not want us to change. He wants us to change our hearts, take firm hold of our fears and bravely step forward and upwards along the straight and narrow path. He wants this change, because He loves us. This is the way to happiness.

He sent His Son to show us the right way. He motivates us through love unfained. He trusts us to learn from our missteps and make correct choices.

Satan wants us to manipulate others. Man’s inhumanity. Corruption is unique and alarming. Satan wants us to fear there is no good at this time on earth. But that is not the truth either.

Prepare ourselves to receive the Savior. Do it with confidence and humility. Never looking down on another person. Study the word of God, heed the voice of the spirit. Don’t be ignorant of the challenges in the world, do not burden yourself or others with constant fear.  Focus on the infinite goodness and power of God. Trust Him. Prepare with a joyful heart. We need not be paralyzed by fear because bad things might happen. As we approach the challenges—and opportunities ahead. He will be with you. He will not fail you. He will fight for you. You shall hold your peace. In the face of fear, let us find our courage and faith. In the world you shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer. He has overcome the world. God has promised all things shall work together for your good. If you walk uprightly. Set aside your fears and live with joy, humility and hope and confidence that the Lord is with us.

Living in fear and anxiety or causing fear in others . . . we may become liberated from this fear by the pure love of Christ. Perfect love casteth out fear. Christ’s love allows us to walk with confidence, humility, and faith to press through our fears and place our complete trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Let us replace fear with Christ’s perfect love. Replace burdens with blessings.

Be not afraid, only believe. Abide in Christ’s perfect love.

Sunday Afternoon

D. Todd Christopherson

Watchman. Hear the word and warn them. The warning is to turn away from sin. If you don’t warn them, they will die in sin. If you warn them, and they chose not to do…you have delivered thy soul, by doing your part. If you trust your own righteousness, and not in God . . . all your righteousness shall pass away. Wicked find strength in the Lord, and the righteous must continue in trust in the Lord. Wickedness never was and never will be happiness. Desire to share truth with others to help them learn how to live eternally.

Parental duty is to warn… and share joy of walking in obedience. Conversion doesn’t just come by warning…it comes by sharing joy. Jesus warned. Not just any path leads to heaven. Enter in the straight gate. Love demands warning people about what can hurt them. Shame culture. In a guilt culture your conscious leads you. In a guilt culture you know you are good and bad by what your culture tells you you are. Guilt culture can be harsh. Shame culture is unmerciful for those who disagree and those who don’t fit in.

We cannot be neutral. Warning voice is a joyful noise. Disservice is staying silent. Practice what we preach. Preach what we practice. Help your fellow men embrace those truths. Great is your reward in Heaven.

Repent now. Watch and pray continually. Be lead by the Holy Spirit. Have faith in the Lord. Love of God in your hearts. I have not hid thy righteousness within my heart. I have declared faithfulness and salvation.

Joaquin E. Costa

Lessons on the path to baptism. Meeting the missionaries. Go to church. Read the Book of Mormon. Alma Chapter 42. Pray to God. Remember spiritual feelings. Experience Repentance.

Nothing draws you closer to Christ, than a desire to change. 

S. Mark Palmer

Expectations. “I just don’t like people” Mark Chapter 10. How do we change the hearts of those who don’t want to be obedient? Jesus loved him. Because of this love, and with this love…Jesus asked more of him. It is our heart as well that needs changing…not just the ones who are troubling us. How can I be filled with Christlike love for those who aren’t meeting my expectations? See them with all the love Christ has for them. Because I love you I care about who you become. I invite you to change the things that are hard for you and become the person God wants you to be. Pray with fervent faith before each interaction with them.

1. As we learn to see others as the Lord sees them, our love for them will grow. So will our desire to help them. We see potential they might not see in themselves. Perfect love casteth off fear. Those hardest to love need it the most.

2. No teaching or learning will happen when done in anger. No change will occur when anger is present. Atmosphere of trust.

3. Love should never be withdrawn. When expectations are not met. Jesus still loved them perfectly.

4. Because He loves us, the Lord expects much of us. If we are humble we will repent, sacrifice and serve as evidence of His perfect love for us. Invitation to repent is the same as an invitation for peace and love.

When we are asked to do something hard. Put aside worldly pursuits, forgive, put God first, He loves you. Let it go and follow Him. Thank Him for loving you enough for inviting you to do more.

Gary E. Stevenson

How can the Holy Ghost help you? “How did you know the snake was there?” The Holy Ghost helps us. Third member of the Godhead. We have the gift of the Holy Ghost after baptism. Unexpected events cause sadness pain and disappointment. The Holy Ghost offers peace and comfort. He is called the Comforter. Peace and comfort comes at our greatest time of need. Forgiveness, love, and healing come through the comfort of the Holy Ghost. The spirit feels our heart and comforts and reminds us of the truth that we know. Testifies and bears witness of the Father and Son and all truth.

The comfort of the truth can bring peace and comfort we are desperately seeking after trauma and fear. Listen the Holy Ghost will whisper. Listen to the still small voice.

C. Scott Grow

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. Begin to know God through prayer. Pray with faith, you will feel God’s love as it speaks to your soul. God knows you personally. As you pray, you will come to know Him. Scripture study, personally and with family. Teach your children to live with faith. Worthiness is essential to becoming like Christ. We start with repentance and forgiveness and He cleanses our souls. As we strive to become like God, He could make of us, more than we could ever make ourselves.

Benjamin De Hoyos

The Lord speaks to prophets to give us a standard to follow. The Lord reveals His will to us, but in His own timing. I love you Mom. Love Tytus

Light grows and becomes visible when we return home with the feeling of forgiveness. It comes as we partake of the sacrament. We feel a greater love and appreiciation for the Savior. Keep the Sabbath Day holy. Shine as an ensign. Teach as the Savior taught.

Quinten L. Cook

One layer at a time. First steps. Physical development….baby steps. To obtain our ultimate physical stature. Ten thousand hours of practice is required to achieve “world class expert” title in anything. Less emphasis is placed on spiritual growth. There is no substitute for individual spiritual growth. Faith to heal. Personal prayers can bring blessings into our lives beyond anything we can comprehend. Adversity should not be viewed as a withdrawal from the love of the Savior. We will all receive challenges that will refine and define us. Give us experience and be for our good. Fear not what man can do… for God should be with you forever and ever.

We receive strength according to our faith in Christ. #princeofpeace

Put Family First

Today during ‪#‎ldsconf‬ I wrote a few different times in my notes "put family first". It was part of many themes through out the weekend that stuck out at me. 

Then tonight they aired our story on Dateline NBC as a rerun. Of course I didn't watch it. But found myself thinking about the many parts of the story that I talked about during my interview with them. And I remembered that was one of the things I said--or pleaded really. "Put your family first!"

What if we were all to put our family first? How would the world be different? How would our stories be different? How would our relationships be stronger if we were to always think of those we love during every decision that we made? Even the small, seemingly insignificant divisions could result in devastating consequences if starting down the wrong road. Selfishness, pride, secrets and lies...they all start somewhere. 

We can't go back and change the past, but we can chose a different future. We will all stand at crossroads every single day. Cross roads between right and wrong, good and bad. The answers will become so clear if we can take this simple truth and remember why they are worthy and worth us fighting for. Our families deserve all this world has to offer--especially our faith and our love, our time and our devotion. 

If you have wandered down dark roads full of secrets...Make right those wrongs. Change. It could just save your life. From the bottom of my heart please...Put your family first.

Voices

At the beginning of April, after Emmett’s death, it was time for LDS General Conference. We had always made Conference weekends special when I was a kid, and Emmett and I had carried on the tradition. We would sit as a family, listening to every talk . . . snuggled on the couch with our favorite treats and snacks.

I felt uneasy about just sitting around our house and watching it this year. My mom, who was still staying with us, suggested we call my Aunt Diane—who lived just two hours away—to see if we could go and spend the weekend with her. Rob had just been bailed out of jail, so I really felt the need to get away for a while. We decided to go to Diane’s. All of us needed to get out of the house, and I looked forward to some time away to think, and not do anything but listen to the counsel and direction from the leaders of the Church.

As we drove away from the house, it almost felt as if a weight had been lifted off my back. I looked out over the valley. It looked so dark and grey. It felt nice to leave the heaviness of our reality, and drive towards a place where so many people loved us. The kids were calm in the car. Everyone seemed to be lapping up the peace that seemed to have enveloped the car. It felt good to have some time to just think and be . . . not worrying about life, or death, or anything, really. My mind felt at peace.

As we pulled into Diane’s driveway, my phone rang. It was an unidentified number, which usually meant a detective or an attorney on the case.

I stayed in the car to answer the phone while my mother unloaded the kids. I sat watching my family joyfully run in and give kisses to everyone. The call was from the victim’s witness coordinator with the Attorney General’s Office. She was calling to tell me about the upcoming hearing dates, information about Rob, and to update me on everything the office had been working on. At the end of our conversation she said, “So, we were all wondering, do you want to be involved? … Do you want to come to these hearings? … Do you want us to reserve a spot for you, or do you just want us to call you after each hearing and give you an update so you don’t have to sit through them?” I didn’t reply immediately. I just sat there for a minute . . . unsure about what I really did want. What should I do? “Well, I guess . . .” I began. “I’m not really sure . . . what do you recommend to someone in my position . . . what do people usually do? What do you tell everyone else to do?”

She was silent for a minute. “Ashlee . . . you know . . . I don’t know that we’ve ever had anyone who has been in your position before, so this is one of those cases . . . where I can’t really tell you what people usually do, because . . .  well, I’ve never really known anyone who has been where you are right now.”

I hung up the phone. I felt paralyzed. I felt alone. I know she was just trying to help me realize that I would have to make my own decision, but in that moment, her words spoke to my insecurities and doubts. I really was alone. There was no one else who had ever been exactly where I was. It was just me. I felt cold . . . almost bitter. I had no one to call for advice. They couldn’t refer me to the last woman who had walked in my shoes. I was not the norm. Despite all my desires to just have a normal life—the life I had always craved—I was the exception. There was no one who had ever been in my same situation.

My excitement to listen to Conference faded as I picked up my bag and carried it inside. The weight that had been briefly lifted as we had driven away from home, fell once again onto my back. I was all alone. I felt like none of the talks that weekend would be for me. No, they would be for all the perfect husbands and wives. They would be for all the perfect parents raising perfect children. I started to feel like Conference wouldn’t be for me this year. That fear wouldn’t prevent me from listening, but nonetheless, I was certain I would be disappointed. Nobody knew what my pain felt like . . . and nobody had ever been where I had been.

When Saturday morning came, I still had a pit in my stomach. I wasn’t excited about Conference the way I had always been in the past. I sat through the first three or four talks almost purposefully refusing to allow anything to penetrate the wall I had erected around myself. I stared out toward the TV . . . but I didn’t hear a word. I was completely focused inward, feeling sorry for myself—no one had ever been through what I had suffered, or had felt the type of pain that was my constant companion.

Another talk began, and I folded my arms . . . perhaps an unconscious sign of self-pity. Then, I prayed to God for a miracle . . . that I could hear something that would speak to my frozen heart. I pled with Him to lift the black hole surrounding me so I could feel light again. Even though I knew that none of the speakers had ever walked in my shoes, I begged God to inspire one of them to let me know that I was not alone.

All of the sudden . . . my ears started working, and for the first time that day, I listened to the words being spoken and the principles being taught. The speaker, Elder Kent F. Richards of the Seventy, spoke of pain, and as his words filled the room, I felt in my heart that the pain I felt that day had not been forgotten. These are the words Elder Richards spoke to my soul:

The Atonement Covers All Pain

As a surgeon, I found that a significant portion of my professional time was taken up with the subject of pain. Of necessity I surgically inflicted it almost daily—and much of my effort was then spent trying to control and alleviate pain.

I have pondered about the purpose of pain. None of us is immune from experiencing pain. I have seen people cope with it very differently. Some turn away from God in anger, and others allow their suffering to bring them closer to God.

Like you, I have experienced pain myself. Pain is a gauge of the healing process. It often teaches us patience. Perhaps that is why we use the term patient in referring to the sick.

Elder Orson F. Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”

Similarly, Elder Robert D. Hales has said: “Pain brings you to a humility that allows you to ponder. It is an experience I am grateful to have endured. …

“I learned that the physical pain and the healing of the body after major surgery are remarkably similar to the spiritual pain and the healing of the soul in the process of repentance.”

Much of our suffering is not necessarily our fault. Unexpected events, contradicting or disappointing circumstances, interrupting illness, and even death surround us and penetrate our mortal experience. Additionally, we may suffer afflictions because of the actions of others. Lehi noted that Jacob had “suffered … much sorrow, because of the rudeness of [his] brethren.” Opposition is part of Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. We all encounter enough to bring us to an awareness of our Father’s love and of our need for the Savior’s help.

The Savior is not a silent observer. He Himself knows personally and infinitely the pain we face.

“He suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children.”

“Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.”

Sometimes in the depth of pain, we are tempted to ask, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?” I testify the answer is yes, there is a physician. The Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all these conditions and purposes of mortality.

There is another kind of pain for which we are responsible. Spiritual pain lies deep within our souls and can feel unquenchable, even as being racked with an “inexpressible horror,” as Alma described. It comes from our sinful actions and lack of repentance. For this pain too there is a cure that is universal and absolute. It is from the Father, through the Son, and it is for each of us who is willing to do all that is necessary to repent. Christ said, “Will ye not now return unto me … and be converted, that I may heal you?”

Christ Himself taught: “And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me. …

“Therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me.”

Perhaps His most significant work is in the ongoing labor with each of us individually to lift, to bless, to strengthen, to sustain, to guide, and to forgive us.

As Nephi saw in vision, much of Christ’s mortal ministry was devoted to blessing and healing the sick with all kinds of maladies—physical, emotional, and spiritual. “And I beheld multitudes of people who were sick, and who were afflicted with all manner of diseases. … And they were healed by the power of the Lamb of God.”

Alma also prophesied that “he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and … he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. …

“That his bowels may be filled with mercy, … that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

Late one night lying in a hospital bed, this time as a patient and not as a physician, I read those verses over and over again. I pondered: “How is it done? For whom? What is required to qualify? Is it like forgiveness of sin? Do we have to earn His love and help?” As I pondered, I came to understand that during His mortal life Christ chose to experience pains and afflictions in order to understand us. Perhaps we also need to experience the depths of mortality in order to understand Him and our eternal purposes.

President Henry B. Eyring taught: “It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.”

I felt the encircling arms of His love that night. Tears watered my pillow in gratitude. Later, as I was reading in Matthew about Christ’s mortal ministry, I made another discovery: “When the even was come, they brought unto him many … and he … healed all that were sick.” He healed all that came to Him. None were turned away.

As Elder Dallin H. Oaks has taught: “Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a ‘healing’ cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are ‘healed’ by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us.” All that will come may be “clasped in the arms of Jesus.” All souls can be healed by His power. All pain can be soothed. In Him, we can “find rest unto [our] souls.” Our mortal circumstances may not immediately change, but our pain, worry, suffering, and fear can be swallowed up in His peace and healing balm.

I have noted that children are often more naturally accepting of pain and suffering. They quietly endure with humility and meekness. I have felt a beautiful, sweet spirit surrounding these little ones.

Thirteen-year-old Sherrie underwent a 14-hour operation for a tumor on her spinal cord. As she regained consciousness in the intensive care unit, she said: “Daddy, Aunt Cheryl is here, … and … Grandpa Norman … and Grandma Brown … are here. And Daddy, who is that standing beside you? … He looks like you, only taller. … He says he’s your brother, Jimmy.” Her uncle Jimmy had died at age 13 of cystic fibrosis.

“For nearly an hour, Sherrie … described her visitors, all deceased family members. Exhausted, she then fell asleep.”

Later she told her father, “Daddy, all of the children here in the intensive care unit have angels helping them.”

To all of us the Savior said:

“Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine. …

“Wherefore, I am in your midst, and I am the good shepherd.”

Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ.” The pain you and I experience may be where this process is most measured. In extremity, we can become as children in our hearts, humble ourselves, and “pray and work and wait” patiently for the healing of our bodies and our souls. As Job, after being refined through our trials, we “shall come forth as gold.”

I bear testimony that He is our Redeemer, our Friend, our Advocate, the Great Physician, the Great Healer. In Him we can find peace and solace in and from our pain and our sins if we will but come unto Him with humble hearts. His “grace is sufficient.” In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Maybe nobody had been in my situation . . . maybe I didn’t have a friend to call for advice about how involved I should be in the murder trial, or how best to move forward to find peace . . . maybe I had no one to pave the way along my pathway to healing . . . maybe I was alone in my battle, but as my ears finally opened, and my emotions came pouring out as I listened to that message sent to me . . . from God, I knew He wasn’t very far away. He knew I would have pain. He knew I would be asked to make grown-up decisions—which I felt far too young to make—but He wasn’t asking me to make them without Him. He wanted me to know that, because He needed me to live like I believed every word.

I could feel every single talk after that. I knew the words being taught were not just for all the “perfect couples” surrounding me . . . they were for me, too. The next talk was about women and the strength they possess. At the end, the speaker thanked all those single women struggling to work things out on their own. In another talk after that, the speaker assured me that God “knows you and He sees your sacrifice…” In the afternoon session, there was a talk about a man who lost his wife because the doctor who came to help her deliver her baby transmitted an illness to her from an earlier patient. She died a few days later. Her husband was bitter and wanted to ruin that doctor’s life. He was told by a Church leader to “leave it alone.” Later in his life, he came to understand the wisdom of having followed that advice. He realized he would have ruined his own life—and the life of the doctor—had he not followed the counsel to “Leave it alone.” In each talk, there was a little bit of something I needed to hear.

There are voices all around us . . . telling us how we should feel . . . and who they think we should be. During this difficult time of my life, I heard many voices that tried to bring me down. Some tried to belittle me. Opinions were freely shared about how I should be feeling. People told me I should be moving on . . .  or how to grieve. Some told me I should be moving on more quickly, while others said I should slow down. None of those voices really mattered. Heavenly Father knew what path I needed to take on my journey, and only He had the true answers for my particular situation.

I was alone that day in my own personal grief . . . but I was not forgotten. Every single person has their own story. Everyone of us has our own personal path of pain. Not one of us has a handbook that details what comes next or how we should handle or make decisions. What is right for one . . . might be totally wrong for another. However, I have never been led astray when I have followed the counsel of the Prophets. Their counsel should be our handbook. They speak to us with no agenda. They volunteer their lives to speak truths to us. They care about each of us and about our relationships. They care about how we are living our lives and handling our grief.

During the trial, I had some special visitors ask to come to my home one Sunday afternoon to spend some time with me and my family. These men, who work alongside the Prophet daily, were there in my living room to see if I was okay. One of the first things they said was, “President Monson has asked that we come to see how you are doing . . . and to let you know that we have been praying for you.” They didn’t have an agenda . . . they didn’t come to get the gossip. They came to show me that I wasn’t alone. They were sent by the leader of the Church to remind me that I wasn’t alone . . . and I knew it was true. I didn’t know it because of them, I knew it was true because I felt it in my heart. Heavenly Father’s spirit was so strong. They came to comfort me and help me REMEMBER that He was not very far away . . . He knew right where I was . . . and I was not alone.

I know the words spoken by our Church leaders are true. I know that when I listen to all they teach me, I can feel joy here on earth. I believe that when we follow their teachings, we can remain immovable and true to our faith, even when the pains of this world are more than we can bear on our own.

We are all going to get knocked down. It’s not about getting knocked down . . . it’s about what we do when we get back up. Whatever pain has brought you down, find a way to get to your knees . . . and while you are there, pray for the courage to one day learn how to stand again. It may take years to let it all go. It may take a lifetime to find peace. It may take a thousand prayers to find relief from your pain. All pains in life are covered by a loving Father in Heaven who knows how to heal you. Some pains might take time to heal, some might never leave you while you are on this earth . . . but even through your pain you can find joy . . . if you have faith in Him.

The world will tell us that we are not enough. People will make us feel like we are not measuring up in any of the things we do. And most of the time, we listen. We allow the world to tell us that being a “stay at home mom” is not a worthy title. The world will whisper to us that our potential is so much more than just sitting home changing diapers. Voices are everywhere . . . in every magazine we  read, in every commercial we watch. Voices. Speaking to us. Make sure the voices you hear are the ones speaking words that are worthy of your time. Don’t let the world’s whisperings pull you away from the pathway to true happiness.

All of us walk our own roads. No one has ever been exactly where you are. In this moment right now . . . no one else has felt what you are feeling. That fact can feel overwhelmingly lonely and hard. It is a truth that sometimes leaves you wondering where to turn and what to do next. During those moments when you feel like you have no one to call, and no one to tell you who to be . . . just be YOU. You are the you that He wanted you to be. He has the power to heal the you He still sees inside. And He will. He is the one who has walked your path ahead of you. He has seen the darkness. He has felt the hurt. He walks a few steps ahead, so He is prepared to find a way to wipe the tears from your eyes, and mend the holes in your heart.

You were made to be you. If you are going to disappoint anyone, let it be those who cannot find the goodness inside of you . . . the ones who look for all that is wrong with you. They will bombard you until you lose sight of yourself. Voices are everywhere. Listen carefully. Listen to the ones that lift you up.  Surround yourself with beauty . . . and as you do, you will find your own voice. Listen to the voices that help you stand.