Yesterday I had a few minutes and decided to work on video 25!! I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. This video is about a few thoughts I had this weekend as I celebrated Mother's Day in a different way.
This brave boy asked Shawn tonight to pull his tooth. Little did he know it wasn't going to go as planned. It gave us a good laugh, and luckily he didn't swallow that thing.
Today's challenge is about finding a balance in beauty. For so long I hid behind things on the outside to cover up my pain on the inside. Then I went the opposite extreme and tried to just focus on healing the inside . . . all the while forgetting what made me feel beautiful on the outside.
So today's challenge is all about figuring out where you are on that scale, after trauma has left you forgetting your confidence, and finding a balance to go from broken to beautiful. Confidence takes balance. And beauty can be found on the outside . . . and in. It is when those two align, that we find our confidence again. You cannot have one without the other.
So wether you are hiding behind gallons of makeup and thousands of dollars in high heels . . . or you are hiding in your fifteen year old track sweats and haven't left your house since last week, I hope you know you are not crazy, and you are not alone. I have been there, and so have thousands of others.
Today, even though you never asked me to . . . I give you permission to find what makes you feel beautiful on the outside, and whole on the inside . . . and see if those two working together can bring back the person you thought was lost.
To check out the makeup I am using in this video visit: Maskcara beauty
So we are on day 20. Your challenge is to laugh. To search it out. To find something funny around you and allow yourself to engage in it.
So many times in and after trauma we begin to believe we are not allowed to laugh and enjoy life any more. So whether your laughter has stopped because you don't think you deserve to laugh any more . . . or if you just have forgotten how. It is time to learn how, and remember what it is that made you laugh . . . and seek it out.
The family and I were on a Family Night walk last night. At one point Shawn put on a helmet and started riding a scooter . . . to which this movie was born.
Yesterday I stood in front of a group of senators— asking them to remember our babies as they evaluate an amendment to the constitution that would help victims have rights. One thing I know for sure...how hard it is to watch your babies hurt, and have nothing you can do about it.
Last year these five helped me create this video for a friend who had lost their dad. I always thought I would be able to give my babies a perfect world—but instead they have given me hope that good can still exist after the world let's you fall.
March 11, 2011 you didn't break them. They are fighters. They have never been victims. To me they were always the strongest survivors.
How do we change? We step outside of what we are used to and take some risks. Sometimes it is our comfort zone that is holding us back from where we want to be.
A few words can make all the difference. Three phrases that can help us step out of victimhood in our relationships and take a higher road to healing. Challenge: Add these words into your vocabulary: "I was wrong." "I am sorry" and "Please forgive me."
Becoming a victim of Trauma: what I wished I would have known. Challenge: Pray for comfort when you feel alone in a room full of people...pray for peace when you feel alone—all by yourself.
Day 14 is about comparisons and opinions. It is easy to get wrapped up in where everyone else thinks you should be, or what you should do; and what other people in your situation have done in the past. The challenge is to figure out where and who you are supposed to be. Taking out other's journeys and opinions . . . where does God need you?
Ok friend. I have been out of it for a week now, and ready to get back on these trauma challenge videos. Today we are looking for the miracles and angels in our life. Little moments that help us remember we are not alone and that God loves us.
The twins and I spent the week in Florida—to watch the rocket carrying
the twins science project up into space—with the launch date slipping a few
times. Saturday became the date for the launch—also the afternoon we were to
fly home. We got up early and took our seats hours before the launch time of 10:01.
The countdown was going well, but at the 13 second mark one of the systems
became shaky and the launch was a scrub.
The girls were devastated—as we had sworn we would not
change our flights again, due to all the changes we had already had to make
over the last few months. So we headed to the airport a little somber, and so
sad that after all that time, money and work we would not be able to see the
launch. We would be arriving home at midnight and they would attempt another
launch the next morning.
We checked our bags, and went through security and found our
gate. We sat in our seats—the whole time my mind felt foggy as I scrambled with
every last effort I could make to be able to stay just one more day. The
airline quoted me $900.00 to change the flight and with no guarantee that the
launch would really be the next day, I could not justify spending that much
money—plus another night of overpriced food and no available hotels within 50
miles. I had given up hope. We chatted with a family sitting across from us
(who I later learned talked to the airline about our situation), and ate our
snacks . . . but I kept feeling like I was failing my girls . . . but there
wasn’t really anything I could do about it.
Now our flight was just twenty minutes away—our bags were
checked—and our plane was starting to board. All the sudden I felt a tap on my
shoulder and a sweet lady—I would learn her name was Sue—leaned down and said,
“I heard you girls were in a bit of a pickle, and I am going to help you.
Please hand me your tickets.” I did as she said and within minutes she was back
at my side with a new set of boarding passes for the next afternoon. She said with a wink, “I think you guys
deserve this.” I burst into tears and gave her a big hug. We thanked her over
and over. She said, “We will see you tomorrow, you girls go enjoy that launch.”
(Sue at Southwest you will forever be an angel to us)
Ticket. Check.
We walked back out of our terminal skipping. No plan, no
car, no set place to sleep. As we got off the elevator on the car rental floor,
hundreds of people lined the booths. I asked a woman what was going on. She
said, “Oh we are all on winter break, everybody comes to Orlando this week
every year.” A gentleman behind her said, “Yeah . . . and some of us forgot to
book a car rental, and not one of these lines has given me any luck. There
isn’t one car available in this whole airport.”
I got a pit in my stomach. I said a little prayer and we hopped
in the first line, hoping for another miracle. I got up to the front and the
boy at the counter told us the same news. He searched and searched and could
not even find one car. We were just about to walk away and try a new line and
he said, “Wait . . . here is one. I don’t know where this one came from, and it
is clear across the other side of the airport, but if you want it . . . it is
yours.”
Car. Check.
Soon, I got a message from a friend of a friend—Lindsay—
saying she saw on Instagram that the launch had failed and was in town staying
at a condo with her family, and she would love to let us take a room for the
night if we found a way to stay in town for the second attempt launch.
Bed. Check.
So now we had a new ticket, a car for the day, and a place
to sleep—no clothes or toothbrushes (our bags were already on the plane)—but we
were going to be at that launch.
On our way to find food, a sweet local widow friend of mine
Pam asked if she could take us to dinner. So we grabbed some toothbrushes and a
couple clean t-shirts at Target, and enjoyed dinner with her.
We headed to the
condo and got some sleep, rolled out of bed early this morning and headed back
to NASA.
When we pulled up—the countdown was at three hours. At about
two hours to launch we got hit with a little rainstorm. Soaking wet, we sat
there feeling defeated.
But the countdown began again when the rain stopped and all
systems continued to be a go. The announcer even asked the twins to come up in
front of all the crowd and explain their science project that would be going
into space if the launch didn’t slip again.
The countdown this time did not stop and we got to watch
that rocket launch into the clouds. I couldn’t stop the tears. Not so much because of what was in front of
us, but even more so because of what was behind us. I looked over at my two
oldest babies and thought back on how far they had come. Six years ago I
watched them as kindergarteners go through the hardest trial of anyone I knew.
I wondered if it would hold them back—be their excuse to live in fear and not
aim for the stars. Instead, today as I watched their excitement and the power
of that rocket, I was reminded that they can do anything.
WE can do anything. WE can do hard things, we can do
powerful things, and we can still live those dreams.I was overwhelmed with that truth and the
miracles that had occurred that allowed us to have that perfect moment.
There are miracles in our lives, and I know there are angels
who help orchestrate each one. I felt them today, the ones that we can’t see. All the miracles that fell at our feet the
last twenty-four hours to get us to that moment— are evidence of the love God
has for us. And He always has, through the hard times and the good. The
blessings this week by a couple of earthly angels who listened to those
promptings to help us be able to watch a symbolic moment lay out before our
eyes . . . were one of the most powerful reminders for me of how great God is.
He cares. He knows, and He can move mountains . . . even for us.
Thank you to everyone who stepped in and made a sacrifice
for my girls this week. I will never forget the feeling, the smell, the emotion
of watching that rocket—but even more than the rocket, I will never forget the
overwhelming gratitude that has filled my heart seeing so many good people be
kind. Not because they had to, but because they chose to.
I haven’t always been able to see the good in this world,
but this week the twins and I were overwhelmed with evidence that it is still
here. Heavenly Father has a plan. He wants us to be great, to overcome all the
bad that has tried to hold us back, and to witness His love in moments so
powerful . . . you cannot deny that He has been there all along.
Congratulations Bostyn and Bailey. You were a little part of
history today, and I can’t wait to see what else this life has to offer you. I
love you to the moon and back.
Video of the launch:
NASA Kennady Space Center. Feb 19th, 2017. Falcon
9 SpaceX rocket launch. Launch pad 39B (same launch pad used by all the
astronauts that have gone to the moon)
The word of the day is genuine. How can you be even more genuine in your daily life? Complimenting...sometimes saying no. Being real in a world full of fake.
I am Ashlee. I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a survivor of murder. I am a survivor of infidelity. Life has tried to pull me down but I choose to stand.
Garden
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The little two and I worked in the garden today before Kaleeya had to go to
school. We planted all sorts of fruits and vegetables. We got laughing at
Tytus...
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