Protect marriage . . . It matters
Today I want to talk about the subject of marriage. From the
beginning of time marriage has been the foundation of humanity. It all started
with Adam and Eve. Marriage gives structure to what otherwise could just be a
civilization full of intimate relationships without any connections or ties to
each other. It is so important to have healthy marriages to make up our
societies . . . but why is it so hard?
First marriage, second marriage . . . fourth marriage—whatever
your marriage looks like at this point . . . you can attest, that some moments
are not easy. We are different—men and woman— and all marriages take work, compromise,
faith, patience, and a whole lot of love, that—some days—is very hard to
remember.
And if you haven’t yet hit bumps in the road . . . I am
pretty sure you are the exception. And if you think you will never hit bumps in
the road . . . I am pretty sure you are in denial.
So how do we win? If statistics tell us that our
relationships are more than likely going to fail, and the world tells us that
if it isn’t easy—then it can’t be love. How the hell are we going to survive?
We have a constant enemy on our back—orchestrating the
demise of any and all healthy relationships. He sends temptations, addictions,
anxiety, insecurities, unrealistic expectations, fear, betrayal, and lies that
shake us to our core. And he has created so much chaos in our world that
marriage is no longer considered important. Rings mean nothing. Vows, promises,
covenants . . . are all foggy. He has taken what once was important and turned
it into something that sometimes seems impossible—healthy lasting relationships,
the protection of our families.
Some years ago. . . I always just assumed that people would
protect my marriage—my husband, being the first I always thought would have my
back. He didn’t. And that hurt. A lot of times I assumed a wedding ring was all
the protection anyone would need—a symbol of the promises and vows they had
made. I had no idea that even when wearing a ring—or seeing another person with
a symbol of their marital status clearly on their finger—people would flirt,
and flaunt, and purposefully entice someone that isn’t theirs. They do, and
that hurts.
We are not perfect. That is one of the hardest parts about
marriage—they are made up of two imperfect people with pasts. Everyone in this
world is hurting in some way—whether they acknowledge it or not, or understand
the significance the past has played in who they have become—every life
encounters some form of disappointment . . . some easier to forget than others.
But nonetheless, we are all individuals
with pain, triggers, fears, and trials sometimes bigger than we think we are
strong. So how do keep our relationships strong, if—as individuals—we are not
perfect?
It’s pretty simple really—most of it we learned in
preschool. Be kind. Share. Obey the rules. Live our truths. Be honest, even
when we know we will disappoint. Be virtuous, even when no one is looking. Acknowledge
the roles we play. Care about more than just ourselves. Be forgiving, and ask
for repentance. Fight for—instead of against—each other.
It was easy to see back then, when the world seemed so
simple—not so easy to see now when we get so stuck in our own ways.
Our world is hurting: calamities, addictions, secrets, lies,
broken homes, broken hearts, broken children, wives, and husbands; failed
marriages, broken souls who don’t seem to care if they hurt anyone—broken
spirits who sometimes delight in the pain of others. And fear runs it all.
So what role are we playing? Are we protecting the marriages
of our society? Are we honoring ourselves and the people around us by the way
behave in public, or in the quiet of our own homes. Are we showing our children
the sanctity that marriage is supposed to be? Are we honest in our vows, even
when no one else is watching?
Our actions do matter, and so do our marriages. So protect
them. If that cute guy has a ring . . . find another one, there are literally
millions. Honor yourself and his family by saying no. Please. If you have
promised yourself to someone—be true. Don’t do life half way. Be real, and
don’t forget their faces in the choices that you make. Even when the world
tells you “your actions won’t impact anyone else” . . . don’t buy it.
Everything you do makes a difference—for bad or good.
We need homes that are strong. We need marriages that last,
and we need a society that fights—fights for the unions that make up our
people. Fights for strong families, strong children, and strong homes. Fights
for their own dignity—protecting not just themselves, but the others in their
world.
The fidelity of our society matters; the integrity of our
people creates our nations. And it starts with us. Stand tall as a noble son or
daughter of God. Your choices to protect cannot only save lives . . . it can
change our world.
If you have secret relationships that are clouding your view
of the person you always thought you would be, it is not too late. Life isn’t
over until it is. Make today count. You are worth fighting for. That dark fog,
that has made you think you aren’t worthy of grace . . . of real love . . . of
a strong marriage. It is the lie. You don’t have to live in the fog. Change the
story—for the families, for the spouses . . . and for yourself. You are enough.
Protect marriage. It matters.
2 comments:
I love your thoughts on marriage. I am on my second and though it is not easy, it is worth sacrifice and sometimes having to go to battle. I like your thoughts on respecting other people's marriages and relationships.
thank you, your words gave me strength.
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