You can handle it

 2 months! We couldn’t love you more baby Kylar. To be honest...I have lost more sleep with teenagers who want to stay up late (hence the late night post) than I have with this one. She is a dream baby. At 4 weeks she slept her first 11 hours straight...and hasn’t missed a night. (I have told you—Baby sleep is my one best skill...honestly my dream job is to be a sleep trainer, because it makes parenting so joyful when you get rest). Anyways. This little baby girl is one content little peanut. We love having her as part of our team.

I have been thinking a lot about this stage I am in right now. The last time I had an almost two year old and an almost two month old was almost exactly ten years ago. 10 years? If you would have told me ten years ago that I would hold that little infant in my arms and that little toddler’s hand through their daddy’s funeral, a murder trial, and a remarriage that ended in divorce...I would have thought you were crazy. God never gives us more than we can handle...and I would have sworn up and down that I couldn’t have handled that. If you would have said, someday you will have seven kids...I would have laughed...because God doesn’t give us more than we can handle—and I wouldn’t believe I could handle that.

I am actually really grateful—as I sit her thinking about all I thought I could never handle—that nobody told me. Because in those dark moments of living all the things I could never have handled...I remember the many things He did promise. Light. Peace. We would be protected and blessed. We would find forgiveness. We would be able to move forward. I didn’t know exactly what all that meant, on my knees in my closet that night, but ten years later—still working hard every day to fulfill all of those little glimmers of light at the end of that seemingly endless tunnel—I am realizing these eyes must have been two of the lights that were shinning the brightest. Scott we did good. Two more sparkly eyes that testify of God’s grace. 

We were all born to shine. Don’t let the darkness around you ever cover the light that’s inside. And never stop writing your story...tomorrow might surprise you. Trust Him when He says you can handle it.